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Faces of ARFID Series, Bob

I’m so thankful to have Bob on FACES OF ARFID today – he’s very brave for talking to us! There are a lot of adults with ARFID, and males as well, but we haven’t heard their stories, so I’m grateful that Bob is sharing his story with us. Thank you so much Bob!

Bob, 43, South Dakota

At what age did you realize you had ARFID:

As long as I can remember.

What are your limitations with ARFID (food/friends/social activities etc.?)

I haven’t been able to add any new foods to my diet for as long as I can remember. There have been a couple small things such as a new flavored chip, or new brands of existing safe foods.

For the most part, my family and friends are very tolerant and respectful of my challenges. However, there are times where they intend comments to be funny, but they come off very rude and disrespectful. Simple little references can be hurtful depending on the environment, crowd, and situation.

It has made social activities for work extremely difficult. The anxiety that comes prior to any event where food is present is somewhat overwhelming at times. In many cases I find excuses to avoid such activities. However, it is impossible to avoid completely.

List of safe foods:

French fries (no skins), mashed potatoes (made at home/no lumps), pancakes w/maple syrup and sometimes semisweet chocolate chips, peanut butter sandwich (white bread only) frequently dipped in applesauce, toast w/ PB or grape jelly or butter (again only white bread), several dry cereals, a variety of chips and crackers, popcorn, nuts.

What steps have you taken to try to get help?

I take an antidepressant/anti-anxiety drug, have conferred with my doctor (he knows nothing about ARFID), tried hypnotherapy a couple times.

What is the most frustrating thing about ARFID for you?

Really two things…

1. I want to eat more and can’t.

2. I hate having to try and explain the disorder to people. They never fully understand, and think they can make you change.

What do you wish others knew about ARFID:

It’s not a choice. If it were, I wouldn’t have lived with it for 43 years.

If you met someone newly diagnosed with ARFID, what words of encouragement would you offer that person?

Honestly…the only encouragement I can provide is that they aren’t alone. It took a long time for me to realize that. However, the medical world seems to be accepting the reality that it is. Hopefully they’ll have a way to fix it during their lifetime.

What do you want society to know about ARFID?

It’s real. It’s not easy. Asking a million questions doesn’t make me feel better as I know you can’t do anything about it. It’s not being a “picky eater”. They have a choice. We don’t.

Is there anything else you would like to add?

The more resources out there for people to utilize, the better. That’s why I have agreed to assist with this. The Facebook groups have allowed me to realize that I’m not so odd. There are many others just like me. It’s amazing how similar the safe food lists are. There are some variances, but for the most part are spot on.

If you're looking for some FACEBOOK groups to join, check out these three which are all great:

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