She made and ate an EGG!

I’m not sure who knows our ARFID story so this might be a repeat of info for some of you but I wanted to share! My daughter McKaelen is almost 20. She had ARFID her whole life, but back when she was younger, ARFID wasn’t ‘named’ yet. Of course, like most of you, we’d go to the doctor and he’d say she was healthy and was just a picky eater. But you know, as a parent that it wasn’t just picky eating. It affected her social life, her mental health; she was depressed and anxious, she avoided going out with friends, going to sleepovers, going to parties. She secluded herself, and made excuses to not eat with the family. Holidays were the worst as you all well know. There was something wrong and we knew it.

After countless appointments with different doctors and therapists, we gave up for a while. I would go back and forth with thinking, “There’s something wrong,” and then thinking she was OK, that it wasn’t that bad. But it was. You guys know this.

Finally, we took her to Healthy Futures in Scottsdale AZ where we live. They diagnosed her at age 15 FINALLY with ARFID. And as many of you know, learning what you or your child or your loved one has… giving it an actual name, made us feel like we now knew what it was so now we could fix it!

She went to outpatient therapy for three months, like 4 times a week. She did one-on-one therapy, peer group, and met with a nutritionalist. They also did somatic experience therapy, which is pretty sci-fi-ish – touch therapy to lower the adrenalines. After she ‘graduated’ from the class, she began to slowly add foods into her diet. Before, she had the basic white food diet – bagels, pizza with the cheese off, raw carrots, apple slices (very specific on the apples), waffles with chocolate chips only on it. She ate peanut butter. She ate ketchup sandwiches. French fries. Breads. Carnation Instant Milk – I know a lot of you give this to your kids! Sweets – ice cream, cake, cookies. Chips. You all know the diet.

After therapy, she was able to eat cheese quesadillas, grilled cheese sandwiches. In recent years, she has added cheeseburgers. She can eat plain salads. Fettucine Alfredo, pasta with red sauce, grilled chicken. So she has been doing well. Yesterday she ate orange chicken and rice at Panda Express. I recall very vividly once when she was in maybe 4th grade, I took her to a Chinese restaurant to ‘try’ sweet and sour chicken and rice and she couldn’t do it.

The biggest thing is that today, she came home from work at noon and said to me, “I don’t want you to say anything, but I’m going to make an egg.”

I was floored! I was also nervous. But damn it! She cooked that egg and ate it! I was so proud of her. She—like you and / or your children—has been through SO MUCH! You guys know what it’s like to cry and beg and bribe and threaten your child to eat.

I wanted to let you know that it can get better! It may take a while, but continue to educate yourself, be compassionate to your child and offer support and love! I am so proud of my daughter and I know she has been through so much. Like you guys, your children will be more empathetic because of going through this. They are kind and good kids who are STRUGGLING. But they can get better!

Many of you know that I wrote a book called Sad Perfect, a fictional account of our story. It’s on amazon. There is also another great book on Amazon called: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder: Children, Adolescents, and Adults. The link is: https://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy-Avoidant-Restrictive-Disorder/dp/1108401155

My daughter and I also have an ARFID website at https://stephanieelliot.wixsite.com/arfid

If you need help, or have questions about our journey, both my daughter and I are here for you if you’re struggling. We absolutely knew what it was like to feel like we were the only family going through this, and ARFID absolutely affects the whole family!

Be well, and know that you and/or your child CAN GET BETTER!

Picture of McKaelen eating her egg today!