Faces of ARFID Series, CADE
Thank you to Cade for sharing his story with us to help take away the stigma of ARFID and to create awareness on this unique eating disorder!
We were able to speak with 13-year-old Cade Jolley, and his mom, Rebecca, from Lake Ridge, VA, about Cade’s eating disorder ARFID. Cade has had ARFID since he was a baby when he had trouble with reflux. Cade is a middle schooler, who swims with an elite, competitive group and is nationally ranked in several events. Cade and Rebecca took the time to answer our questions and we’re thankful to have both of their viewpoints on ARFID here!
At what age did you realize Cade had ARFID:
Cade began refusing foods as a baby. He would only eat two types of baby food. It continued from there. He suffered from reflux and we never found a formula that agreed with him. So I guess you could say he was a selective eater from birth.
What are your limitations with ARFID (food/friends/social activities etc.?)
CADE: Life is hardest for me when I am away on travel meets with my team. The other kids eat catered meals, and most times I can’t force myself to try their food. At competition time having proper nutrition is most important. Not only do I get stuck in situations where I don’t have my “safe” foods on hand, the foods that are available are often foods I can’t make myself eat. Luckily my team supports me and tries to accommodate as best they can.
List of safe foods:
Some types of cheese pizza, some chicken tenders, tangerines, PB&J a certain way, chips, apples, sweets.
What steps have you taken to try to get help?
CADE: I went to therapists who didn’t offer much help at all. Recently I had a hypnotherapy session with Dr. Felix Economakis. Since hypnotherapy I have continued to try new foods, and some have even worked their way on to my safe list!
REBECCA: I knew Cade had to desire to change his eating habits, so for years I didn’t force him. I just reminded him that when he was ready, we would seek help. He finally asked for help. We found Dr. Economakis, who really changed our lives.
What kind of therapy/treatment have you received?
Cade has gone to individualized therapy sessions with a family therapist, and hypnotherapy with Dr. Economakis.
What is the most frustrating thing about ARFID for you?
CADE: The most frustrating thing about living with ARFID is that nobody knows what it is. People assume you do this because you love junk food, and don’t want to change. They don’t know that it’s an eating disorder. Their uneducated judgment can be hurtful.
REBECCA: The most frustrating thing is the judgment you get from other parents. Most assume that you haven’t ever tried making the child try new foods, or their eating habits are the result of your poor parenting. If I had a dollar for every time I heard “give them to me for a week and they will eat it” … well let’s just say I could afford to have Cade’s safe foods catered in daily.
What do you wish others knew about ARFID:
CADE: I just wish they understood that ARFID is an eating disorder, not picky eating.
What words of encouragement would you offer a person newly diagnosed with ARFID?
CADE: Life is going to be harder for you. But there is hope. There are people who understand you, and have been through this. You aren’t alone. Stay positive and keep trying, and it will get easier. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.
Do you have anxiety/depression because of your ARFID?
REBECCA: Cade suffered from generalized anxiety for several years between ages of 9-11. During this time we sought help and considered medication. At age 11 Cade joined a swim team that practiced 6x a week, and his anxiety disappeared. Each year the kids take a 30-day break from swim, and each year during this time his anxiety returns. I firmly believe that exercise has cured his anxiety.
Are you generally happy with your situation?
CADE: I am happy with my current situation. We have peace in my house because I mostly eat my safe foods, while I continue to try new foods. This makes everyone happy.
Can you share a couple sentences about how it feels to have ARFID?
CADE: Many feelings come to mind.
1. Frustrating. You want to eat new foods and most times you can’t.
2. Lonely. You aren’t sharing meals with your friends and family when they celebrate things. Also, because you probably don’t know anyone else that has ARFID like you do.
3. Sadness. You know your safe foods aren’t the best for you, and you wish your body had the proper nourishment. Also because you can see your family is disappointed when you refuse another food.
4. Once in a while it feels empowering. When you are able to try something new and it tastes delicious, it really makes you feel like you could do anything.
What do you want society to know about the stigma of ARFID?
CADE: ARFID is an eating disorder, not a choice.
Is there anything else you would like to add—anything that’s unique to your situation?
REBECCA: Because Cade is an athlete and he trains for several hours each day, he has to take in a certain amount of protein. This adds to his struggle, because most of his safe foods don’t have protein. He has had to make many adjustments to ensure he gets the appropriate nutrition.
If YOU or someone you love has ARFID and you would like to share your story, please reach out to Stephanie Elliot on the CONTACTS page of this website! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!